Huntress and Dragonborn
by Pomtree97
Summary: Follow up to the events of Silver And Sapphire. Mainly Annika's life afterwards, rated M to be safe.
1. I

**Well, you guys wanted more and so did I! So here. A series one-shots involving my already developed couple Aela the Huntress and Annika Vvanderfell. All of these take place after the events of Silver and Sapphire, and I won't post a new one until the previous one gets at least two reviews. This is gonna be fun, guys! Hope you like them. Oh and this one is going to be written directly from Aela's POV, just for a change of pace. **

The chair that I sat in felt as if it were on fire. My silver gaze flitted from the floor to the walls and stopped on the door. That door hadn't been touched or even remotely moved for approximately four months. The fingernail indentations that I left in my own palm were growing deeper and deeper by the day. My teeth had started to grit so much it felt odd to eat anything. I probably wouldn't have consumed any food if Jordis hadn't given it to me on a platter. However just recently Jordis lft as well. Walked right out. And I was alone.

I missed her. Annika. I was aware of her several duties that needed to be attended to, being the Dragonborn, the Harbinger of the Companions, and also the Guildmaster of the Thieve's Guild - yet her absence in her own home made me sick to my stomach. I was too far away to go back to Jorrvaskr. A carriage from Solitude to Whiterun took a good few weeks and I didn't have that time. Besides, what if Annika returned when I was away? A shaky exhale was emit from my barely parted lips as my composure started to gradually dwindle down to nothing.

I wanted to see her terribly. I wanted to hold her tightly in my arms and never let go. I wanted to tend to whatever wounds she sported from her quests and listen to her adventures over a pint of mead. I wanted to drift into slumber as she collapsed in exhaustion by my side. Yet that could take months to happen. I shut my eyes shut so hard it nearly hurt, praying to all of the Divines that when they opened she would be there. It didn't work.

I had sat in that chair for far too long. My legs had long since gone numb. I slept in it. Part of me knew that this tedious waiting was going to do me no good whatsoever while the rest of me was unsure of what else to do. I had been unable to leave my trance for such a long time but at these thoughts I seemed to be dragged a bit into reality.

I should get up. Standing might change things. I might be able to distract myself to take up time. She might come back sooner. Without considering it any further, one of my trembling hands found the back of my seat and forced myself to my feet. My legs felt wobbly from not having stood for such a long time. I wavered a bit before regaining strength, exhaling a bit to further calm myself. Before I proceeded further into the house my eyes lingered on the door for a few moments. It didn't open. A tremendous feeling of loss struck me as I walked up the stone steps, the sound of my feet hitting them echoing ominously through the large home.

If anyone else had asked me to move this far from Jorrvaskr and be forced to live in an unfamiliar city I would have brought my fist straight into their jaw. But this was Annika. It was different. I loved her more than seemed possible so I complied to her wishes at a slight compromise - being allowed to accompany her when she deemed it needed. I'm sure that she would have wanted me with her every moment but I knew how terribly she worried about me after that incident with that Draugr so long ago. There was no way she could communicate by letter - being constantly on the move would make her very difficult to find for a courier. That and I didn't want to distract or hurry her duties.

I stumbled into her bedroom in a stupor full of worry and longing to see her again. The several war trophies and small trinkets of sentiment that lined basically ever surface just made my love for her increase and swell inside of my chest. I found my way to the nearest chair and sat down in it - expression still blank somehow. A small table lay in front of me. On it was a frayed map of the province, a few spots in particular marked with red dots. I remembered the day she returned home with this, rambling on enthusiastically about how ecstatic she was to receive a map of dragon burial sites. Although I was a tad worried to know she was going to be fighting several challenging dragons she was the Dragonborn after all. I couldn't stop her.

With a heavy sigh I buried my somewhat cold face into my calloused hands, slender fingers embedding into my hair. I stayed that way for so long I couldn't tell if I was sleeping or simply not paying attention. At least I had been relatively distracted when in truth I knew this was the same thing I had been doing before, simply in a different area. It was too difficult. The worry and the pain started to make me nearly lose consciousness when combined with the exhaustion. Right as I started to teeter a bit in the chair I sat in, a familiarly soft hand was placed on my shoulder that steadied me and brought me entirely back to reality. Could it be?

My head whipped around so fast I was worried it might roll from my shoulders. Standing behind me, smile on her beautiful, flawless face, was none other than Annika Vvanderfell. My wife. She looked untouched. Radiant. On her back was a new bow I had never seen her with before, donned with all sorts of new weapons and carrying a pack on her shoulder that bulged with gold and other precious gems. She set it down on the floor, our eyes having met and not parted once. My mouth hung open in surprise.

"I'm back..." She muttered in her still just as alluring voice. The sound of it sent chills up my spine automatically. I had dreamt of hearing her voice like that again for such a long time and now she finally spoke. Although my legs didn't feel as sturdy as they should have I didn't care and shot to my feet, heart absolutely slamming against my ribcage.

When she extended her arms I knew that she was expecting a hug. But that was far less than what I planned on doing.

My body shot forward without my mind having any sort of say in the matter, bringing our lips crashing together immediately. The force was so unexpected and aggressive that Annika stumbled backwards a bit into a wall, making some sounds in the back of her throat from surprise. After a few moments of the heated kiss I was displaying so many emotions through the noises became more content and satisfied. I prayed silently that she had missed me as well. Pressing her harder against the wall my lips became a flurry of lust and longing, trying desperately to make up for all of the time I hadn't been able to do this - all of the time I had yearned to. When her tongue delved deep into my mouth I couldn't help but let out a moan, the sound making our lip lock seem to vibrate. I felt her soft hand trail its way down my bare back and reach my buttocks, firmly squeezing it once and then gently resting there.

It felt as if I had ascended into Sovngarde and was drinking mead in the Hall of Valor. Yet I'm sure that the taste of the Dragonborn's mouth was far more sweet than any other substance in existence. Although a part of me still wanted to hear about her adventures and pelt her with several questions regarding why she had been gone for so long, another part of me knew that there was no way our lips were going to part anytime soon. I simply didn't have the strength to pull away. She would have to do that. Then again judging by the force and passion of the kiss that she returned equally as clear I doubted that would happen.

Before I knew if I had been flipped around, my back pressing against unforgiving stone and arms wrapping gently around my waist - lips still not breaking apart in the slightest. The lust in my head was making me dizzy and Annika's hands were probably the only things keeping me from collapsing. Occasionally her teeth would snag playfully at my bottom lip and I would try to return the favor but would find the advance battled off by her tongue. I couldn't help but smile a bit.

The night was spent that way, hours passing without either of us noticing or minding, the sun rising and setting in what seemed like minutes. Gradually we had moved all about the room - onto the table, her dragon burial site map tossed to the side as if it were worth nothing in the midst of our lust, against the wall again, and of course onto the bed. After we were finally spent I managed to mutter between heavy gasps for air that there was no way she was leaving again anytime soon. I wouldn't let her. My wife, Annika Vvanderfell, the legendary Dragonborn immediately agreed. I fell asleep in her arms, a smile glued to my face.


	2. II

**Sorry for taking so long to write anything, I've been going through a really rough spot. One-shots seem to be harder to write, and recently on my file in-game with the actual character Annika Vvanderfell, Aela has passed away. It seems only fair to post the thoughts and actions I believe Annika would do if The Huntress really did pass, some of the following have even occurred in-game. Now Annika's POV.**

My associations with the Dawnguard had proven to be quite an adventure. It wasn't everyday that you join a band of vampire hunters and actually befriend one of the dark creatures in the process. I had grown very close to Harkon's daughter, Serana. She was an interesting character and we had saved each other's several times through many ordeals. But now that I was in yet another faction it was becoming more and more difficult to return home to visit my beautiful wife, Aela, and I knew that she missed me dearly. I tried my very best to write her letters whenever I had the chance but deep down I knew that words written on paper couldn't compare to face-to-face interaction. I also sent her small trinkets or war trophies by courier, ones that I would see in our home when I ever did return - either put in display cases or hung on the walls.

After riding the province of a gang of bandits and also a rather hard to destroy vampire, I returned to the Fort. As usual I was greeted by Serana. After we put a stop to her father's maniacal plans she simply wandered about the Fort, and we would sometimes have brief conversations regarding the time we spent together if the circumstances were fitting. It was a bit later into the night so I found Gunmar sleeping. After congratulating me for eradicating more of the dangerous menace we were fighting he pointed me to Florentius, claiming the priest had an assignment for me. This I found a bit odd. That man and I hadn't conversed much since I convinced him to join up with these vampire hunters and if anything we were far from acquainted. It must have had to be something fairly serious to demand my attention.

When I approached him I could already see the pity in his eyes. Sympathy was something I was not accustomed to receiving and his demeanor made my brow furrow immediately. He mumbled something about Arkay delivering grave news to him, and then informed me of the actual matter at hand.

My wife had been kidnapped. Taken from our home against her will to some sort of cave. In it were both bandits and one vampire in particular running the operations. He was also the one in charge of the abduction of Aela. The thought of her being put in danger because of my affiliation with this group nearly made me want to abandon it altogether. I didn't even receive Florentius' full debriefing before sprinting towards the door in a tornado of concern, Serana questioning my haste as I passed her by without another word.

My journey to the cave Aela had been taken to was a long and harsh one. I had little sleep, little eating or drinking, and very little time to be calm in the slightest. Whenever I wasn't spritning with all of my night through the snowy mountains of Skyrim or tiring out horse after horse before finally going on foot, I was merely trying to keep myself from having a nervous breakdown. Vampires were unforgiving people. No doubt they kidnapped Aela in an attempt to lead me straight to them, but why in the name of Talos would they do that? Lure a skilled vampire hunter straight into their den? No doubt there were bound to be traps and guards of all sorts in an attempt to stop me, but there was no way I would let that happen. I was going to get to her no matter what the cost. When I finally arrived at the cave, I could feel the rage inside of my on the verge of erupting.

It was dank. And I had been in plenty of caverns and tunnels in my time, but this one seemed to be especially ominous. I had an odd foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. Fear was not something I experienced often. But I can honestly say that I had never been so terrified in my entire life. I couldn't lose her. I couldn't risk it. If she so much had a scrape on her knee I was going to tear that vampire limb from limb, set his remains on fire and dance in the ashes. Aela was my world. She was the most important person in my entire life. I was not going to lose her because of one silly little vampire who got cocky.

The bandits that blocked my path didn't stand a chance. Whatever traps were there were small things such as pressure plates I could step over or a bear trap or two that never got to close to closing around my feet. The only slightly formidable opponent that I had was the bandit chief. Clad in steel plate armor and wielding an enchanted ebony greatsword, he was not something to be overlooked. But I knew that he was the only thing standing between Aela and I. And that was enough to make me run him through with my sword and toss him to the side as if he were nothing. It was only what lay behind the buffoon that caught my attention and nearly made my heart stop.

It was Aela. Her face looked beaten up, nose bloody, one eye only partially open as she knelt on the ground with her hands tied behind her back. Her war paint had come off in some spots and there were small, deep cuts running along her arms, some that were still seeping a few drops of blood. She looked more exhausted than I had ever seen her and more weak than ever before. I felt my emotions being torn to pieces, not sure whether to feel extreme sympathy or extreme anger and having difficulty feeling both. My teeth ground together and I growled in the back of my throat, yet at the same time my eyes were becoming glossy.

"Aela!" I called out to her, she hadn't spotted me yet. When our gaze met the feeling of intense love was palpable in the air. The vampire was nowhere in sight, at least not where I could see. Yet for some reason I felt an ominous presence in the area. My shoulders tensed and I didn't want to let my guard down, although seeing my wife in this pitiful state was causing me to lose concentration steadily. I didn't, couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Annika! Oh thank the Divines, you're here!" Her voice, although still sounding heavenly, was lackluster. It was patchy and rough, followed by a hoarse cough. She clearly hadn't spoken in a while. I felt my heart shattering and crumbling into pieces. The desperation displayed on her face, the yearning to escape this cavern and return to our home was so clear anyone could have deciphered it.

It was only then that the area to her side started to shudder. I looked towards it with a furrowed brow, recognizing the trembling image that indicates an invisibility spell or potion wearing off. That explained where the vampire had gone. I started to sprint forward, wanting to decapitate him before he had the chance to become fully visible, but something made me stop short. Aela suddenly stiffened entirely, her head aiming a bit upward. I waited a few more seconds for the damned creature to become fully visible, and when he did my anger was so intense I felt myself nearly forget any sort of better judgement.

This foul, disgusting, worthless monster had an ebony sword pressed firmly against Aela's neck. I felt myself freeze. I could see how sharp the blade was even from the fair distance I stood. She was sweating. It also seemed like she wanted to start shaking but with the weapon pressed to her skin she didn't dare to. The tears in my eyes were making my vision become drastically blurry. I almost couldn't make anything out in front of me. I felt myself becoming light-headed. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Annika Vvanderfell..." The vampire spoke in a low tone, definitely trying to intimidate me while all it did was influence my anger, "What a pleasant surprise to see you here."

If this had been any other case I would have gone through some playful banter with this scum, simply to make his death more ironic or entertaining to me. But this time the risk was too great. I should have been keeping a level head, I shouldn't have shown him that what he was doing was enraging me to the extent that it was. Yet in situations like these it was extremely hard not to let your true emotions show, too much was on the line.

"_Don't you dare hurt her!" _I shrieked, voice full of hurt and worry, bouncing off the walls of the extensive cavern in an eerie way.

He chuckled, his white fangs snagging a bit on his bottom lip. It was a Dunmer. His dark skin blended in very well with the dim setting we were in, and although he was wearing rather normal attire you could sense the demonic presence. For some reason, to him this was the most humorous situation he could have been in. He must have known how much it was killing me to see my one true love with a blade pressed to her throat.

"Oh, now why ever would I do that?" He was sadistic. Like most of these creatures were. His rasping yet steady voice reminded me of Harkon. I watched as his reddish orange gaze moved slowly to Aela's face. The sword moved from her neck and he traced it along the side of her face. It broke skin, but only slightly. She emit a low whimper. I growled loudly as he continued, "This... _lovely _lady has truly helped me out. You see, Mrs. Vvanderfell, never have I been faced with a more enigmatic vampire hunter. Usually their presence is a bit more prevalent and they are easier to seek out. Yet you cover your tracks. You don't leave traces. And for the longest time, many of my associates - myself included - considered you uncapturable. It was only when we discovered that you... had some ties."

I watched as the beast traced the tip of the blade along her earlobe, cutting a bit deep. Blood seeped down it and down her cheek. I watched as she bit her lower lip tightly so as not to give him the satisfaction of noises of pain. I admired her so much. I _loved _her so much. In the heat of my rage I took another step closer, more than ready to take more, but being stopped when he shoved the blade a little too quickly into her neck once more. I felt myself nearly having a heart attack, but somehow the sword didn't cut her. We locked eyes once more. She was on the verge of tears, as was I.

"Tsk, tsk, Annika. I would have considered you smarter than that. Another step closer and your precious wife will lose her head..." One of his hands was firmly on her Aela's shoulder. I didn't want him touching her. He couldn't touch her.

My anger was still extremely immense. But for some reason, when I truly started thinking about what may happen if she left my life, the tears started to roll down my cheeks. My voice lowered and I asked in utmost seriousness, begging, pleading, "Please... don't hurt her..." I paused as a silence grew, definitely full of consideration on his part, "...I'll do anything."

He chuckled once more, "Anything?" For a moment or two I thought that he just might let her go, take me instead and let her escape in one piece. I was mistaken. Horribly, horribly mistaken.

In one second, one movement, my world fell apart.

He moved the blade. Thrust it straight into the side of her head. It cut completely through. She made no sound. I watched her silver eyes roll to the back of her head before closing. I watched crimson trickle from her mouth, down her chin, and off her jaw. When the Dunmer withdrew the sword, she fell flat onto her face into the dirt. A pool of blood started forming around her skull. She was still. Far too still.

I collapsed. Literally. Falling against the nearest wall and gasping violently for breath. I was sputtering. My eyes were glued to her and I couldn't tear them away, not even noticing that they were steadily shedding tears. I couldn't move. I struggled to keep myself from losing consciousness. It was becoming difficult to hear things as well, but whenever I could listen all I heard was maniacal laughter. He was laughing. He had no idea how badly he had just ruined me. How much he had crushed my life. Either way he found it absolutely hysterical.

My skin became clammy. My head was spinning. The entire room was trembling, the only solid thing being Aela. I stayed in this trance for what seemed like hours to me. Until finally the beast's form blocked my view. I felt his forearm pressing firmly against my collarbones and pinning me against the wall with brute force. I gasped loudly, the wind knocked out of me. I still held my blade in my hand but he wasn't registering it. He knew that I was in no state to fight back. He could tell.

"Well, seems I struck a nerve." His playful tone sounded as if he was trying to entertain some invisible audience. He was toying with me. I could sense the enjoyment he was getting out of this entire experience. I bet my tears were more enticing to him than the warmth of the blood flowing beneath my skin. He stared at me with those cold, harsh orange eyes, piercing into my very core. Never had I felt this much seething rage towards a single creature in my life.

This beast had killed the one thing that mattered most to me. The one thing that I thought would stay forever was now gone and could not be brought back. Although the last thing I wanted in the world was to believe it, my mind wasn't one to be unrealistic. I knew deep down that there was no use. And I also knew that it was entirely his fault. Suddenly all of my anger lashed out of me in one swift movement.

I forced my arm back, blade in hand, and shoved it straight through his pathetic heart. He gasped in pain, struggling against the sword for those few last spasms before death, and he went limp. I watched as his eyes closed, breathing heavily through clenched teeth. His blood seeped around the new hole I had created in his chest and trickled down my blade, onto the hilt and then onto my hand. It was cold and darker than average blood. I growled guterally and tossed him off. I didn't bother wiping my hand on anything.

I looked at his corpse for a few moments, my head running rampant with ideas on how to defile it. It was only when my eyes moved to the other body that my heart collapsed once more. The sword that had previously been held in my hand with a death grip fell out as if it hadn't been grasping it at all. The enchanted blade clattered to the dirt and rolled off somewhere. I didn't even register it, my feet carrying me to her. I feel to my knees, unable to comprehend, unable to cope. Her blood formed a pool around me. Slowly, cautiously for fear of breaking down, I gently grasped her shoulder with as much love and care as possible before turning her onto her back.

My wife. My beautiful, perfect wife. Even now, with the wounds scattered about her body and flawing her complexion to anyone else's eyes, she looked stunning to me. I reached forward and tucked some of her crimson hair behind her bloodied ear. Reaching into my pocket I withdrew a small handkerchief, wiping off the dirt and blood from her face and arms until there was nothing else I could do. I was still crying, that I couldn't control. How could I not shed tears at a time like this?

How long I knelt there, I cannot say for sure. Roughly a day straight with no eating or drinking. I couldn't leave her side. I don't exactly remember what transpired after that. It's all to vague. All I knew for sure was that I was absolutely broken. Shattered into shards that were so jagged and small nobody could ever put them back together, not properly at least. From that day on my life was forever changed, as it had been when I first met the wonderful woman. Only this time, instead of a pleasant beginning to a wonderful life experience, it was a tragic end to one of the best periods of time I ever lived.


	3. III

**I hope you enjoyed that, although it is a bit darker than what I usually write. Keep in mind, all of these events are based off of real in-game events. For example, Aela really did pass away as I was rescuing her from a Master Vampire. Only instead of being killed by this vampire, she was killed as she fled from him. Everything that Annika does in her memory in this fanfic is something that I also did to the best of my ability in-game, wanting desperately to remember her. It's ironic because I'm literally mourning the death of a fictional character and refuse to allow Annika to marry again. I feel like she's still grieving, and will be for quite a while.**

Jorrvaskr was no longer the same place, no, not in the slightest. First Skjor, now Aela? The Circle was growing terribly small. Now I simply shared it with Farkas and Vilkas. Don't get me wrong, those two are fast friends of mine and I would no doubt be devastated if either of them passed as well, yet it just seems far too meager. I have discussed with them several times if we should consider promoting any of the other Companions into the Circle but every time they have disagreed. Apparently according to them they aren't experienced enough or ready for beast blood.

There was a funeral. It was far too difficult for me to remain composed throughout it. Farkas held me in his burly arms while I sobbed into my hands, watching the pyre burst into flames and watching my wife's skin peel up. I knew that she was ascending into Sovngarde, yet still I simply couldn't bare the crushing guilt on me at all times. I could feel the sympathy and pity emitting off of my Shield-siblings, all of them glancing in my direction but not daring to stare for long. Njada was surprisingly of the most compassionate one out of all of them. The very woman who seemed astonished when Skjor first let me in was now comforting me with every fiber of her being.

Farkas helped me through a lot of the pain. Vilkas didn't speak one snide remark to me, something that surprised me since I didn't think he had the ability to control that. I knew the entire time that I was being far too weak. I was the Harbinger. Yet I was an emotional wreck. Although nobody said anything regarding my instability I could tell that in the back of their minds that's what they were thinking. I didn't blame them one bit, their Harbinger was supposed to be someone admirable and enduring - like Kodlak had been, and like Aela had described to me after we put his beast spirit to rest.

I spent a lot of time in Aela's old bedroom. Even though she had moved into my house with me she had left several of her belongings there. I spent hours simply picking things up and putting them back down in the exact spot they had been, examining weapons, wiping away layers of dust gently with my fingertips. Sometimes I swore that I could feel her presence there, watching over me. I also spent a lot of time on the roof of Jorrvaskr, staring up into the sky. Sovngarde was supposed to be somewhere up there. Perhaps she could see me. That's what I liked to think. It provided slight comfort in an odd way.

One day I stood in the Underforge, never having felt that alone before in my entire life. I remembered the events that had transpired in this underground secret - both transforming into a beast for the first time and also my first kiss with Aela. I remember staring into the bottom of the large bowl in the center of the cavern at my reflection. It was only then that I had an irresistible urge to put on war paint. I had never once done that in my entire life. I was just so worried that I would forget her. When I emerged from the Underforge, after a long time of merely standing there thinking, I had blue war paint diagonally across my face in three lines. Just like hers. I got some looks from my Shield-sibling but other than that nobody said a word.

I steered clear of the Dawnguard most of the time. I hadn't even been inside Dayspring Canyon for a straight month since her death. I knew that it was far from their fault yet I still couldn't bring myself to set foot in that fort ever again. At least not for a while. It was only one day when I walked through the gates to Whiterun that I was greeted by a Courier.

"I've been looking for you. Got something I'm supposed to deliver," He began with the regular Courier introduction, reaching into his pocket. I furrowed my brow, wondering who might be contacting me. When he described the sender it didn't surprise me much, "It was from a peculiar girl in Dayspring Canyon. Looked pretty upset to be out in the sun if you ask me." His pale scrawny hand placed a small paper in my extended gauntlet, "Look's like that's it then. Got to go." With that he ran off, as they all usually did.

I unfolded the small parchment with care, seeing the handwriting on it an admirable cursive, swooping and cascading in grace. Before actually reading it, I glanced towards the bottom to confirm my suspicions on the sender. Sure enough, in larger print than the actual content of the letter was none other than Serana's name, looking particularly regal. I couldn't help but smirk a bit. That surprised me. I hadn't smiled in a long time. It was just a pleasant thought to imagine her worrying about my absence.

_Annika,_

_You've been away quite a while, and the rest of the Dawnguard are growing quite nervous. Normally you would have come back and received new orders, yet you haven't once. You also haven't sent word of being needed in other areas for a week or so - which is what we expected. I am not sure if you have already perished or if a Courier would be able to properly seek you out, knowing that you are indeed a busy woman, but it would put all of us at ease if you were to come see us in person, no matter how brief the visit may be. We are truly beginning to worry, myself included, of course. _

_I hope you can make it,_  
_Serana_

I tucked the paper into a pack on my hip, contemplating in silence for a few moments. Serana and I had grown quite close now that I really thought about it for the first time. I had saved her undead skin dozens of times before and tried to help her out with her family troubles to the best of my ability. Her maturity when we had to destroy her father was very admirable, and her connection to her mother was heartwarming considering the fact I never exactly had one like it. And herself? She was impressive to say the least. Bold yet subtle, bearing the audacity to live inside a large fort armed to the teeth with weapons made especially to eradicate her kind, and yet somehow still compassionate enough to send me letters when I hadn't seen her in a month or so. By now I was grinning and I hadn't even come to notice. Clearing my throat the slight smirk faded away. I had already decided at some point during that train of thought that I was going to go visit them, simply explaining my disappearance from their ranks and then leaving once more. I didn't plan on getting too attached to this faction. Not after the experience I went through regarding them.

It took a few days on horseback to get back to Dayspring Canyon. As I walked up to the fort I felt myself becoming more and more unsure of what I was doing. They would most likely want me to stay, or perhaps Gunmar would attempt to pressure me into running a job for him. I reminded myself that I had to remain adamant. Although there weren't many others who I was close to, I didn't want to risk them falling to the same fate as Aela because of my foolish choice to join this faction.

The familiarly heavy door creaked open and I closed it behind me hard, the loud noise echoing through the stone structure and announcing my entry. The first person I spotted was Dexion Evicus, the poor man still wearing his blindfold as he puttered about. I said nothing to him but walked into the great first chamber, looking to my left and right down the corridors that branched off it. I saw a few Dawnguard but my main interest was finding Serana. She was the one who had sent the letter, after all. I proceeded straight so that to my left was the area we had for dining. Still no sign of her. I caught a glimpse of Florentius working at the enchanting table, and I could hear either Sorine or Gunmar hammering away at an anvil. Although the sounds were familiar they didn't make me feel as comfortable as the environment of other factions did. I felt much more content in Jorrvaskr than I did in here.

"Annika!" I heard a welcoming voice call from behind me. Already finding a smile coming to my face I turned around, spotting her jogging towards me. I didn't think I had ever seen her smile so widely. The vampire surprised me slightly by throwing her arms around me when she got close enough. Although a bit taken aback I returned the embrace, realizing I hadn't exactly hugged anyone in what felt like ages. It was a brief hug of greeting and she withdrew quickly. I was still smirking as she spoke, "I'm guessing you got my letter?"

I nodded at her, "Just a few days ago," I didn't like the way my voice carried in the spacious structure. People eavesdropped without really having the option not to. It was agitating to say the least. I felt that we had little privacy.

"Why have you been away so long?" She asked me. Although sounding genuinely curious I sensed the caution in her tone, clearly she was ambivalent to asking me this. She knew me too well, understanding that I wouldn't have been absent for such an extensive period without a very good reason. My smile faded immediately.

It wasn't that I had forgotten about Aela's passing. It was just that being around Serana managed to somehow push the constant thoughts of her into the back of my mind. The grief was a heavy weight and when it returned so abruptly to my shoulders I literally felt my legs wobble. The concern the vampire felt was tangible. I could also tell she felt guilty for asking me. A frown made it's way to my face and I tensed, eyes averting from hers for the first time.

"I um..." I was worried that if I spoke the wrong words I would burst into tears. Lately I hadn't been very good at keeping my crying to a minimum. Sometimes if I even thought of something regarding the Huntress I would break down in hysterics. Any sort of tears shed here would be broadcasted to the entire Dawnguard. I would rather not have all of them aware of how utterly weak I was at the moment. I knew I was viewed as a strong person and I would like to keep it that way. It was just extremely hard to do with the lingering sadness.

Serana was smart and was good at reading me. She could learn my emotions through my actions or expression, and she realized that I didn't want to talk in our echoing environment. I watched as she looked over my shoulder, perhaps someone was approaching us. Her cold undead fingers intertwined with mine as she led me further down the hall, up a flight of spiralling stairs and through a doorway. This looked like a storage room of sorts but one that wasn't used. There was no source of light and cobwebs clung to the corners of the ceiling. Crates were scattered about but judging by the thick layer of dust over them the contents were either nonexistent or unimportant. She pulled me to the center of the room and shut the door behind us. Words didn't echo in here.

"Annika, what happened...?" She asked as she returned to standing in front of me. I still couldn't bring myself to look at her. Now that subconsciously I knew crying was now a more valid option the tears were becoming more prevalent. Thoughts of Aela that always made me upset were flooding into my head, apparently unaware this was a very unfortunate time for them to resurface. I was glad that the room had such poor lighting. She might not be able to see the glossiness to my eyes.

"My um..." My voice was threatening to crack. Clearing my throat to hopefully prevent that, I literally forced the next words out of my mouth, "...wife was murdered." The least three words physically hurt when they passed from my lips. I felt my chest begin to ache. I rarely ever had to speak of this aloud since none of the Companions dared to bring it up and nobody else really knew of it. My fists clenched tightly at my sides, knuckles white, trying desperately to compose myself. I was supposed to be tougher, stoic at least. This was not okay.

Serana was even more guilty now although she had no real reason to be, "By the Gods Annika, I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

I held up my hand, stopping the flood of apologies that I knew was going to come. I didn't need to hear it. All I needed right now was to leave and be alone. Whether solitude would make me cry or make the tears recede I wasn't sure, but I just didn't want to show my vulnerable side (which was becoming more dominant nowadays) to anyone who I wanted to respect me. By that point I was already blinking rapidly in an attempt to dismiss the unwanted liquid from my eyes. It wasn't working very well and I cursed internally at my inability to rein in my emotions.

I turned around, ready to quickly flee the room, but something held me there. I couldn't quite place it but I had a familiar feeling. Whenever I cried like this I was usually on my own, or near the Companions who hated getting involved in anything emotional. Nobody ever really comforted me except for Farkas. And he wasn't exactly good at it yet I appreciated the effort. Serana and I weren't necessarily accustomed to expressing our deepest thoughts to one another but whenever she felt confliction towards things going on in her family I would do my best to help her work through it. I knew she was grateful for that. Perhaps she would be willing to aid me in my time of emotional distress.

My thoughts for some reason made my tears even harder to keep that and I felt them threatening to seep through my eyelashes. My instinct at that moment was to close my eyes yet I knew that sometimes just made them fall. Instead I did a movement I was accustomed to automatically, which unfortunately always indicated crying to the people around you but I wasn't entirely aware of it. My balled up fist made its way to my eye and wiped at it briefly. I was glaring sullenly at the floor. Serana must have known now how distraught I really was. I felt a significant shift in the air around us that almost made me dash to the door but again, something held me in my spot.

"I've never seen you this upset..." I heard the vampire say from over my shoulder. My body tensed, cheeks warming from abrupt embarrassment. I almost took a step away from her but I didn't have the strength to, a part of me needing help of some kind. I wasn't grieving properly, I knew that, but I simply wasn't sure how to deal with this constant guilt and pain. I didn't want to forget about Aela but if I kept dwelling on her absence I might literally die from my sadness. I needed someone to pull me out of this rut because I hadn't been able to do it myself. I just needed _someone._

Her hand touched my shoulder again and I felt a sob almost slam into me but I kept it away by unknown means. I was so broken. I was fully aware of how damaged I really was, yet I wasn't sure if anyone else could tell. The Companions perhaps thought I would forget about this or that I would get over it. Deep down I knew it would take years, if ever, to return to a relatively normal life. It was a bleak but true thought.

I was still very ashamed. I was the Dragonborn, for Talos' sake, I shouldn't be on the verge of tears. This was idiotic. I needed to get it together. While what I really wanted to do was leave the room, stoically, without any crying, I still couldn't.

"I-I'm sorry..." Was all that managed to escape my mouth without my voice breaking. I felt my body start to quake, like it usually did before I burst into completely uncontrollable sobbing fits. My inner turmoil was tearing my apart, or at least that's what it felt like. My heart hurt. My entire sternum ached.

The next thing I knew I had been spun around and I felt arms wrapped around me. I was conflicted suddenly, the embrace reminding me painfully of Aela but I also felt as if I _needed _to be comforted. I couldn't keep the tears back anymore and I gave up trying to. As soon as I stopped struggling with the unwanted liquid I started sobbing, holding onto Serana like my life depended on it. She didn't say anything else. I was thankful for that. It was just enough to know she was there. That I had someone.


End file.
